View Full Version : Bebo and Social Network Issues!!

09-11-2008, 12:24 PM
This morning one of our members posted a very disturbing issue concerning his daughter. We all know about these things but give them little thought unless it hits close to home. Well, if we are a community, then it has hit home.

I suggest that the broader issue of the dangers (and the good I suppose ) presented by these sites is worthy of discussion and hope that some good comments and suggestions will be forthcoming. I do want to make 2 things very clear though.

1. This is not an invitation for anyone to post offensive material or discuss it in a manner that would otherwise be unacceptable.

2. This is not the place for jokes or funny annecdotes.

That aside this really does present an opportunity for us to discuss ways to protect ourselves and our children. I think this is worthy of real discussion and maybe debate.

09-11-2008, 01:02 PM
Can you link it please,beeceebee. I have just come on.

09-11-2008, 01:07 PM

09-11-2008, 02:34 PM
I, for one think it's disgraceful and I really feel for this Dad and the daughter.

There is too much of this type of maliciousness happening on too many sites.

I have cautioned my daughter many times about this type of life altering incident. I was obviously talking to a brick wall.....:( She allowed my granddaughter to have a myspace account, unsupervised, anyway.

A major crackdown needs to take place with stricter rules that they enforce!! :flame:I linked my daughter to these two threads and she was horrified.
She finally realizes what I have been attempting to tell her for two years.
My daughter had me delete my 15 yr. granddaughter's myspace account this morning.

I realize that this is no help to the young 19 yr. old suffering and mortified over this but I would like to thank you.

If not for Caskin posting about this as well as beeceebee caring enough to take it a step further, this or something like it may have eventually happened to my granddaughter.

I would not rest until the twisted joker behind this is named and properly handled legally. This young lady may end up traumatized for life all because some sicko decided it was okay to do what he did.

We need to send a message out, loudly and clearly.

These sites that attract the young ones will take action, to the fullest extent of the law.

The perpetrators ISP provider should be notified and a strongly worded complaint made. With any luck they will drop his internet service and word will spread. :mad:

09-11-2008, 03:08 PM
That was a great post Allheart and goes right to the nub of the problem.

I don't know how big the specific site (Bebo) is in the states but I do know that it is very big over here (Ireland & the UK)

I have listened from time to time to radio shows where parents complain about it being used to bully their kids. We all know that kids can be cruel but this really is a powerful weapon in the hands of a bully.

Bebo is bigger then most ISP's so I don't think we can rely on them for help.

Some specifics both for older kids and parents with younger ones might be helpful here.

If you are using the site or others like it. What precautions should we take on the site itself and what should parents be looking for?

To you out there who think this is overly simple stuff, I remind you that nothing is simple to those of us who simply do not know.

This is a good time for "members to help other members." If we can save this kind of thing from happening to just one other child... I really don't think I need to finish that sentance.

For some of our younger members who may not see a 19 year old young woman as a child. I suggest that it would be just as painful if she were 29, or 39. BUT what if she were just 9.

Lets do our bit here however little it may be!!!!

09-11-2008, 03:39 PM
There needs to be a unified course of action, companies like MGM and Pixar can get content pulled so fast it will make your head spin when it comes copyright infringement from youtube, myspace video etc but the normal person in the street or in front of there computer has little or no recourse to have defamatory or damaging material about them from such places.

If such things where related to a print medium like a news paper and some one had posted in the adds section "So an So is a really *random term here* and I want to *disgusting term here*" you could not only sue the publisher and have it removed from print and take the author of the material to court. This is missing from the internet. There is already storys about people getting refused employment from pictures or comments that are on there social networking profiles, In this case the young lady in question is the victim of a crime but there is little that can be done.

I am afraid to say that this is one of the few cases where the real world ramifications have outstripped the technological nature of todays society, and our ability to react to it. I am in no way shape or form advocating restrictions on the internet by governments but there should be accountability for people who post such material for public viewing. That could be considered a Oxymoron but that is not the intent it is the inherent nature of our current judicial and legal system when it has not evolved to deal with a future that was inconceivable 30 - 40 years ago.

The law needs to evolve or it will be rendered useless.

09-11-2008, 04:17 PM
How many times did something like this article describes happen? How many more times might it happen?

One would think a lesson would be learned, apparently not. :mad:

New Zealand Privacy Breach (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bebo)

Various users logged in under their own account were switched over to the accounts of other users at random intervals, some people gaining access to over 20 different users' accounts. People were sometimes given access to addresses and phone numbers of other members, and some took advantage of the situation by uploading ****ography onto other members' accounts. Bebo network engineers traced the error to a mis-configured proxy server in an Internet Service Provider. (ISP) in New Zealand, which was later fixed. The ISP seemed to be messing with its cache, thereby causing some of its customers to receive cached cookies and details from other users because the ISP used ...............

09-11-2008, 04:52 PM
There have indeed been several instances of such reports. Here is one that happened here, recently.

Orkut brought death for Adnan (http://www.merinews.com/catFull.jsp?articleID=126031)

What astounds me most is why do people put up their details and make themselves so vulnerable to such instances. You would have thought that youngsters would learn from these kind of happenings but they seem to be immune to such kind of news. In my opinion, no child should be allowed to access social gathering sites, even under adult supervision as he is bound to pick up the wrong kinds of things.

To me, being an active element of a large social gathering site is utter foolishness because you are revealing your deepest likings and vulnerabilities to a group of people who call themselves your friends. You are practically putting your deepest fears and secrets in front of a complete stranger.

All the people here know that the most dangerous aspect of the internet is that you can commit the worst of crimes without ever leaving a trace and this is exactly what gives the "bad guys" courage and cheek to do something this shameful. I would rather that my child goes outside and play with real people than type all night in front of a computer screen.

Again, you can never be too careful with such matters so read all such instances and more importantly, inform your children about these, as they are the more targeted victims.

-- Goku

09-11-2008, 05:19 PM
That is pretty compelling stuff Goku!

What happens around here is these sites are used as the primary means of communication among school kids. Often whole classes are on and anyone who is not is an outcast. So even if a child does not share much information his/her peers know who it is. There is little room for the free spirit, the different, the unattractive or anyone who may be subject to bullying.

It used to be that the bullied dreaded going to school. That is bad enough but with this kind of thing going on even the safety of home is gone.

Now add to that every kid with a mobile phone and a camera and it keeps getting worse.

This is one area where govenment has to step in. As an American I have grown up with the concept of freedom of speech as a fundamental right.

This type of thing is not speech. It is assault on a person, usually a weaker person or a vulnerable one, and is no more speech then assualt with a bat.

09-11-2008, 05:28 PM
Best wishes to you and your daughter Caskin. I hope they get the scumbag.

It's unfortunate, but most parents have no idea of the happenings on typical social sites.

09-11-2008, 05:57 PM
Barry, I know that is the psychology of students but with proper care and support from parents, the "outcast" feeling can be tackled. Encourage your children to make friends with people with similar interests and who don't believe in interacting online. Remember, those children whose parents give a free rein to them by giving them undefined liberties on social networking sites pay most dearly in their turn.

If you interact with real people all day, I see no reason why you should talk to them again a few hours later. Surely, life altering experiences don't occur every few hours that you need to constantly keep in touch with them. Remember, it is easy to pretend online. You can style yourselves as someone who is complete contrast with what you are in real life. People find it harder to pretend in "real" world as they have to constantly expose their habits and nature to you.

Just by keeping your children offline for a few hours, you can save them a lifetime of humiliation and ridicule. If you teach your children not to pay attention to what everyone says about them, your children will grow up to be what they are and not what others expect them to be. At the end of the day, it is the parents who have to decide whats best for their children as they are the ones who can keep their activities in check.

-- Goku

10-11-2008, 11:22 AM
I am overwhelmed with the worldwide support regarding my daughters problem.

The links placed on her site and the supposed comments regarding these links were auto loaded to all of her contacts ,one being her employer.

The links were extremely offensive with the comments disgusting.

I have carried out all the contact operations presented to me by bebo but so far have had no response!

As stated these sites are only interested in cash flow and advertising so the more offensive a listing is the more nuts it draws in,therefore they are slow and reluctant to act.

On a more personal note my daughter is now more her young self and less worried,and I believe has learned the hard way a useful lesson........

As and when if and when bebo reply I will post their comments......my heartfelt thanks to you all,in particular Beeceebee .

10-11-2008, 11:35 AM
Thank you, Caskin, for your thank you! :o It wasn't neccessary but is appreciated.

What pleases me most is that we have people here who care about each other.

If any of the comments, and I am guessing there will be more to come, help at all in your quest for "justice." So much the better.

Please keep us posted.

Dalo Harkin
10-11-2008, 11:41 AM
There was a reason that the MSN chat rooms were stopped!
These companies provide a 'community' and it is the ideal place for malware and Virus's to be strored and distributed as so many people access them and they are widely used around the globe.
I do feel for Caskin and his daughter, and I know its not a case of dont go on them as their friends do and no one wants to be left out, but people need to be aware that things like this can and do happen and teach themselves how best to avoid it.

Plastic Nev
10-11-2008, 08:35 PM
I also offer my support on this, and hope the issue is cleared as soon as possible for all concerned.
Although not involved or a member of Bebo, I do have an account on Facebook. The only reason is to have contact with most of the band members out of band rehearsals.
However, I do see some strange messages that have been forwarded on to me, these consist of a message along the lines of "If a J** B***** asks to be your friend ignore or delete the request as he or she is a hacker and will steal all your E mail adresses, privacy, etc" The messages do differ slightly but either they could be genuine, or may even be some form of bullying tactic aimed at J** B*****. A bit hard to tell what could be really going on, but they get ignored by me.

As yet though I haven't seen anything like the story going on here, but it is quite obviously a case of someone using dirty tactics to make others download some form of malware to their computer. So any invitation to view a video or other download, should now be viewed with suspicion, especially if coming from an unknown source.

11-11-2008, 09:49 AM
Enclosed is the reply from bebo,you will note it is a "Noreply Email" and that any investigative material is with held from the bebo user ,in this case my daughter.....so the moral regarding bebo being,Yes you can use our site,Yes you can be libeled.,Yes you can be harassed and NO we will do nothing to assist or inform you of anything which might be of assistance!!!!

Report Processed
11 November 2008
Report Processed
service@noreply.bebo.com (service@noreply.bebo.com)
10 November 2008 18:38

Thank you for your recent report of abuse
We have investigated this report and taken any measures deemed necessary. Unfortunately we can not discuss details regarding each case but we can assure you that we take all reports seriously.

Thank you again for bringing this member and issue to our attention.

Kindest regards

Bebo Customer Service

.................................................. ....................
Please do not reply directly to this email. Questions? Contact us - http://www.bebo.com/contactus (http://www.bebo.com/contactus)

Bebo, Inc., 795 Folsom St, 6th Floor, San Francisco, CA 94107, USA.

11-11-2008, 10:01 AM
That makes me almost as angry as your original post.

That reply is totally unacceptable.

If it were me I would reply in the manner that you did above and that you are going to take it up with your MP. Protection of children is a hot item right now anyway. But that is me and I wouldn't blame you if you want to just put it behind you,

As I said once before, your daughter is 19, what if she were 9.

11-11-2008, 02:44 PM
Caskin, that seems like an automated response from Bebo. Please contact them again using the Contact Us link provided at the end of their message. As Barry says, contact them again and again unless you can talk to a Bebo employee. Give the details of your case and ask them for details regarding what steps they are taking to detect the culprit.

You have every right to have that information since your daughter, unfortunately, is the victim. And if you can, contact the police regarding the same so that the process is sped up considerably. Make sure to tell them to keep it private or the case might attract unwanted publicity from the media.

We are all by your side so don't give up yet. :)

-- Goku

11-11-2008, 11:00 PM
That makes me almost as angry as your original post.

That reply is totally unacceptable.

If it were me I would reply in the manner that you did above and that you are going to take it up with your MP. Protection of children is a hot item right now anyway. But that is me and I wouldn't blame you if you want to just put it behind you,

As I said once before, your daughter is 19, what if she were 9.

Bebo's argument is valid.

That is, a parent tries to protect their children from scum in the local community, but don't know that ten times worse is being subjected to their "online child".

12-11-2008, 09:08 AM
Bebo's argument is valid.


I really hope you meant to type my name or something else. I can see no validity in keeping information from the parent or user who is trying to get a little justice in a proper and legal manner. They could have at least given sufficient details and assurances necessary to assure the police that there will be cooperation and that the specifics will be made available.

Saying that I see nothing to indicate that you disagree which is why the above quote is probably not what you meant.

12-11-2008, 02:22 PM
24hrs later and Bebo's reaction is to close account!

NO amount of effort allowed me to talk to a "Face"

As much as I would love to push this item ,I think that as GOKU stated it could start a media ball rolling that would stop at my daughters back door,and just cause further angush...guess its a kind of catch 22 really

Dalo Harkin
12-11-2008, 03:01 PM
Bebo's argument is valid.

That is, a parent tries to protect their children from scum in the local community, but don't know that ten times worse is being subjected to their "online child".

I am sure that you would be singing a different tune if this were your child Seth.

12-11-2008, 03:11 PM
That is completely intolerable! If Bebo doesn't respond properly, try to contact WiredSafety.org (http://www.wiredsafety.org/) who are in collaboration with Bebo (http://www.bebo.com/SafetyTips.jsp). They should take more interest in your problem as violates their terms of policy or fear legal proceedings.

And reluctant though you may be, you will have to contact the police sooner or later. In fact, seeing Bebo's responses and actions, you would be better off with police assistance. It might attract unwanted media attention but then its a choice between justice and privacy. If you are unsure, talk to your daughter and ask her which way she wants to go.

If you decide to move on with the incident, just make sure that Bebo has disabled your account and video and any information related to you. After your bitter experience, it is better to discontinue using their service.

Sorry I couldn't be of more assistance.

-- Goku